And So I Live: Surviving My Solstice Vision Quest ~ Aphorism(s)

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A few days before last year’s December Solstice—just preceding a flight to Cordoba,  Argentina—I had finished drafting My Thoughts Inexactly ~In Exactness~ S is for Solstice, and set it to publish on the December 21, 2017 solstice time of 11:27 EST (the time of the exact event being 13:27:50 in Chilean Time, where solar noon would be).

Realizing how dangerous my journey might be (and simultaneously not at all Realizing it), I included one of my boldest declarations in case I did not return, which prophetically had come to me in the waxing of the previous winter solstice on December 20th, 2016, with full blown solstice insomnia, whereby I declared “Be a Goddamning animal”. And in recognition of the insanity I was embarking upon, and that I knew I had to go and that I might very well die, I ended the series of aphorisms with acceptance: “And so I die…” It almost proved itself…

Por Que?

35298574_669097290103264_4160131831443750912_oMy mission (several months later described to me by an elder as my “Vision Quest”) was to get to the inflection subsolar point on the Tropic Of Capricorn where it was solar noon at the moment of the solstice. This is only one of two zenith points every year that the sun does not cross, but rather kisses; the other zenith being somewhere on the Tropic Of Cancer. The years that it falls on land in the southern hemisphere is a stark minority, and
IMG_20181223_020232very rare to fall on Chile—one out of every 107 years on average—one of the narrowest countries in terms of ratio in the whole world; and not coincidentally (so I now believe most especially) the land of Pedro Pascal, the actor who brings to life my prominent fictional hero Oberyn Martell and whose shirt I wore at bottom layer for defiant strength on that fateful day.

Enter the Desierto

A few days later and several thousand miles, now in San Pedro de Atacama on the night of December 20th—after a mad scramble from Argentina up and over to the Atacama region of Chile and a long exhausting day trying to find a ride up the desert “ramp” plateau for the next morning and then a wandering altitude acclimation near 20171220_185221Volcán Licancabur—I found myself in my lodging for the night in great distress over my next day’s seemingly-impossible journey, and was acutely uneasy about leaving the ending aphorism “and so I die”. I decided to log in to Subverses and after some debate deleted the aphorism, knowing (and not knowing) that I had the choice whether or not to fate myself to death.

“Today Is Not The Day I Die”

The next day—the day I successfully avoided an Unexploded Ordnance left over  from Pinochet, the day I almost died from heat stroke, the day I almost died from lack of atmosphere and altitude sickness, the day I almost died from despair in the face of extreme concentrated solar energy, the day I almost died from 12 tornadoes, the night I almost died from exposure to extreme cold—I kept saying to myself “Today is not the day I die” (Oberyn’s last words to his paramour) and at night, OTHERS pitched in and started saying this for me, carrying and caring for me. The Universe conspired to keep me alive, and I affirmed to myself that I am just as important a part in determining the course of the Universe as any other.


*That day, one of the most common points of reference for me, was too look to my west and try and see volcán Láscar (pictured at top) and those in its chain, remembering the unique community I was a part of. These images are burned in to my mind.

**There is so much more to say and note, but this is not the place for it. This was merely a place for me to recall the un-fateful writings and epitaphs I tempted in the leading and following through with my vision quest.

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notes 4 today: 2018-05-16 (Weathering Down Climate; Frozen Dreams; Globalizing The Earth; Game Of Thrones Show End Scenario)

It’s been a while since I did one of these Notes 4 Today. I reserve the right to write like shit and essentially just get ideas in. But it might also be pleasant prose, depending on a variety of factors. Either way, what I like about the “Notes 4 Today” form is that it’s intellectually honest stuff I release that is in short and real form, not spinning one of these ideas in to hundreds of pages to manufacture something that can satisfy academia and the consumption culture. Pamphlets—if any written word—foster revolution, not hefty books that screw up your neck.

title: Weathering Down Climate: Alternate theories about the progress of predictability

It is quite possible that weather forecasting has become more astute over the years and that is the key reason that forecasts for weather are much more accurate than they used to be. Taking jabs at weathermen for being right only half the time is no longer in the air. The go-to cause of this is that the technology to predict, the climate modeling systems, are much more sophisticated than they used to be. I would offer that there is another factor involved—and that is that the weather is actually becoming simplified. The dynamic role of ecosystems to modulate and bring flavor and subtlety to the atmosphere has been greatly reduced as the human industrial disease tears away life on this planet. There is generally more wind as the Earth desertifies and there are less barriers to change the wind and moisture, so broader swaths of land end up being subjected to the same weather; whether it be cold moisture or hot dry air. In essence, the job of the weathermen in their increasing respectability to forecast will become more like forecasting weather on Jupiter—there will be lots of wind and a big red storm for the next 10 days.

title: Sleeping in the Cold: Creating the Dream World

If it’s other animals it’s called hibernation, conserving energy, and other things. If it’s humans it’s called depression and maybe chronic fatigue syndrome… which bleeds into the other seasons via the massive undulating disregulation. Anyways, I hate the cold, but sleep when it happens (meaning I’m not charged up on non-climate appropriate foods and lighting influences) is quite appropriate and natural, not just within the context of carbon life on this planet, but the general principle of the Universe wanting to evolve ever more complexly, and so necessarily doing it in smaller spaces. The lower energy places (i.e. the cold) afford life the opportunity away from the high energy that pulls us in and bounces us in different directions given our 1st generation particle make-up. The cold allows us to get to work on the 0th level, the new level, the lower level (the generation to come!). Particles get to dissociate in dreams and themselves become entire galaxies during sleep. Life doesn’t have built in waste time; only diseases in a highly inefficient relationship with their eco-system (i.e. awake humans stuck in boredom, induced to destructiveness through an analytic resource extractive relationship with the planet.

So, sleeping more in the cold is not just for energy conservation, but is an opportunity that life seizes to build configurations for conscious experience that are not normally afforded during better heated times. The problem for life then is not necessarily the cold, but being awake during it and having spent so much alert time enmeshed in it; in the cold we should be searching for the warmth of sleep, yet we steadily find ourselves in the unsteady. Thermal differentiation kills delicate vital difference that is bred in relative thermal equilibrium. The bouncing around in physical dwellings of modernity, from a well-heated home to a poorly heated home to a humid green house to the outdoors, all throw off the difference building capacities of the life. Life—a la the spreading out of the Universe—wants to get colder so that it can dig deeper in to make more exotic energy flows, and so the cold might just be the way to that. But those who brave the cold can’t tease themselves with heating, modern rat race overworking, and this sort of thing that frustrates it at every level. The person, just like any of the animals observed in the akin environment, needs to be fully committed to sleeping which includes non-sleep time activities that build sleep pressure and don’t diminish it. There is nothing more depraved than winter-time insomniacs. This is hell on the frozen Earth.

title: Globalizing the Earth

Humans have reconceputalized the Earth as one of our geometric object categories, a globe, and now impose on the earth all of our sciences. We stopped seeing the earth for what it was, and would rather see our own thoughts from our distorted societal interactions be echoed in the earth itself, instead of having the earth echo in us. It’s no giant leap to then start confusing places like Mars as only slightly different than the Earth because they are both “globes” and planets, and they only require ingredients, as if life is a recipe and we can now play the cooks. Earth has an evolutionary history and a concentration of subtle and unique energies that is so vastly different than anything mars or a moon of jupiter might have. Potentials are certainly there, but actuals are what life is, not some alienated scientist’s mental masturbations when s/he isn’t accidentally almost creating blackholes in the LHC.

title: Game of Thrones End Scenario (a new beginning)

Basically, the white walkers kill everyone over the course of the last season, on both Westeros and Essos. Even with Melissandre coming from westeros with army’s of dragons that she birthed inside of a giant snake (to speed up the time needed to get full sized dragons, all of this taking place in the shadowlands). But then in that vastness of nothing but snow and zombies in the final episode once all life has been destroyed. A huge gaping cataclysm opens up the continent and swallows the Night’s King and the entire army. This is the Lord of Light’s doing, revealed somehow. What happens next is that there are beams of light that appear on the surface and then materialize to be humans, the new “first men” or, the new “children”. Maybe the first word they say to one another is “Andal” or something like that, I don’t know. Essentially then the show will be revealing at the end that there is a cyclical nature to the GoT Universe. The Eternal Return.

Image result for there's only one hell

The Physics Of My Dreams (Zeroth Draft)

What makes our dreams so unique? I don’t fucking know. But as a theorist I have some guesses:

Dreams are created (in part, at least) by our brains, the best and most subtle particle decelerators in the Universe (not black holes). You might recall—either from memory or from google—the existence of the third, the second, and the first generation of particles, a classification all together called the standard model.

However, you wouldn’t recall—just as you might not recall a dream—the existence of a zeroth generation of particles. Just like the second and third generations of particles, these particles are not easily observable in our modern patch of the Universe. Whereas the second and third generation of particles cannot maintain for long because of their high energy is out of balance with the ambient energetic state (that is synchronized well with the first generation of particles), the zeroth generation is at a much lower energy state, one that the Universe in the future may approximate. However it is not just the for the future to wander in to this lower energy space where first generation particles and the energy soup that surrounds them to decay in to zeroth generation particles. Such particle decay happens in our brains all the time, especially during sleep. Time itself in dreams can seem to be multiplied out in duration, and such is the rich complexity that takes hold when a lower, more “efficient” use of particles is at play and interacting in the energetic Universe and consciousness. In a sense, consciousness dives down into these lower more complexifiable zeroth generation particle configurations to expand the depth and breadth of experience—just as the life force of the Universe has done all along since the big bang.

These zeroth generation particles are at such low energies that they alter the very foundations of planck distance and planck quanta. This is particle diffusion—but they only last as long as the collection of brain energy can remain subtle enough to hold this space as it’s own dream Universe. All sorts of quantum gatherings and intrigue happen here and are drawn here. Quantum tunneling and harmonization with other dreamers creating similar families of zeroth generations of particles are frequenc-ially aware of one another, perhaps more intelligible if it were to be put in to terms of string theory and not quantum theory.

Now as onlookers—many physicists included—often philosophically prematurely presume, the “fundamental” (bias) first-generation particles are foundational and determinative of what they coalesce to create. Not so the case here, in the very least. These lower mass particles emerge as the subtle storm a brain reaches in micro regions, with first generation particles decaying in to these lower state particles. Directly or indirectly related, the Planck constant—though it may seem fixed and holds the very name to convey such—is actually something subject to evolution and devolution. It varies and will vary, based on the success and failures of we—largely composed of first generation matter organisms—who create our present, which sews the seeds of the future we will inhabit or be extincted from.

In our dreams we are literally building prototypes of the future physical capacities of the Universe. These are refuges and inspiralations that we can grow and make more populated so in a future time lifeforms commonly dwell there, and clock time relatively is slowed exponentially.

A zeroth generation of particles? I know it’s probably a new idea for you, so why don’t you sleep on it and see if it takes hold.

Related Posts:

notes 4 today: 2016-12-15 (Particle Decelerators; Framing Infrastructure As The Ontastricture; Exo-DNA; Tripping Yourself)

The Eternal Difference

The uinverse Part 1: Logic as the Metaphysic

The uinverse Past 2: Effects Searching for Causes

The uinverse Part 3: Moving Past the Future

The First Unlaw Of Thermodynamics: Energy As The Unlawful Principal Of The Living Universe

 

Fixed Shadows, Broken Humans

Shadows that grow
Shadows that decay
Now stuck with us
Are shadows that stay

Night is a time for darkness and for fire on the ground; day is a time for light coming from the fire in the sky. At night fire dances the shadows, and during day the fire that moves across the sky evolves the shadows by the moment. For Earth’s four and a half billion years, shadows would come and shadows would go, until now. Shadows were ephemeral until humans devised artificial light and “fixed” them. Artificial light brings with it artificial shadows, impregnating our reality with stagnant darkness, all the moreso because of our stagnant material objects.

Breaking Edison’s Idea: A Light Bulb Needs To Go Off
These artificial shadows brought on by artificial light scar the night and the day. Artificial light and its artificial shadows disrupt the flow of the balancing night, pulling us and other animals away from the magic of dark and sleep. The natural dark of night is attacked and made to contrast harshly with the bright polluting lights of modern civilization, straining our eyes with a constant unwavering sting, when our widened pupils have a want of darkness and sleep. During the day artificial light pulls us away from the Earthly atmosphere, and in to insulated and stagnant strucures we call “home” and “work”. The sun and sky are marginalized, and human-made lights steadily and stagnantly have us gravitating around them in stagnant and mis-circulated air.

Moving-light Therapy: Lux in Flux. A modest improvement on the besieged psychological life of a modern human stuck indoors is for the lights themselves to be moved around the room and dimmed and brightened subtly throughout the day. This mimicking of the sun across the sky will not provide the full spectrum of light given by the sun, but at the least lux in flux will evolve the shadows in a more psychologically healthful way.

A Dimmer Look At The Progress Of Civilization
With the peaking of artificial light in this 21st century has come the peaking of many other artifices—peak pollution, peak disease, peak war, and peak genocide—all together in a great and terrible wind that is The War Against The World. Life on Earth is at a nadir in this multi-millenial war against the world, culminating in the Sixth Mass Extinction Event, the first of the Mass Extinctions heralded by a single species—humans. All these life-destroying entities are correlated and all seem to be aided by the human method of sedentary and resource exhaustive deployment on the surfaces of the Earth. Artificial light has sped along our technological invasion of ecosystems and geological strata as we now have more time than ever before to devise more severe penetrations of the Earth.

To all this I say: Fiat Tenebrae (Let There Be Dark)

Lunar Appendage
The upcoming solar eclipse—which forced my hand to write this—is seminal in the daytime light and shadow play that is the most variable of any event on Earth for such a wide area. The moon turns the sun in to a flickering fire that casts a novel shadow and a ring of fire.

Beyond the occassional eclipse, the Moon is the false sun, for we only see the one side of the moon because of it’s tidal locking. It only reveals one undisturbed side of itself. It is both a permanent shadow and a permanent light, depending on the phase of the lunar cycle. It will be full shadow on the eclipse, perhaps only the Sun thus is able to reveal to us the Moon’s true nature. The Moon does not evolve with light or dark. It is not a becoming, it is quite fixed (and quite weak, chained to the Earth).

Editional (September 22)
We focus on the light, and energy more generally, as central, but really the history of the universe tells us that the great diffusion of these things is what is necessary for evolving a higher complexity.

Related Aphorisms 

We must be the night, not to defy the sun, but to preserve darkness from the gathering shadows.

When you are looking around for the shadow from the LED lights, and then to your horror you realize you are the shadow.

The difference between darkness and shadows is so profound that light stands in between them.

Run right at Sauron, and watch fire blink.

The light of science creates permanent objects of knowledge, but is blind to the unnatural permanent shadows on the far side of the light.

blinding dark

X is for Xotic (My Thoughts Inexactly)

Your beauty is such that my eyes feel you and my skin sees you.

Sex is the agony of being in two bodies.

Swallow pure difference, and it is you who are digested.

We make history, or we will be deleted from it.

The robots wrapped in human skin will be envied by the human robots who have forsaken their skin.

Do not be so swift to make smoothness and conformity a highest goal. Smooth is a tombstone, yet engraved in it is a time of death.

The supreme trance artist is as a perfect lover, knowing exactly when and how to change intensity and rhythm to heighten the harmonization.

1 body in to 1,000,000 bodies in, the zeroes start to blur and are thus forgotten.

Love is to be the fire for something beyond yourself—if you keep it inside, you will burn.

X is for X10ding, and X-10-CIV is not only 94, and X is four. Choices are boundless, but binds are ever a choice. We only remain in the shadow of the Romans if we remain bent over their traditions.

 

My Thoughts Inexactly: F is Forcing, otra vez

If you shiver when beauty touches you, you are the one doing the touching.

Chew on your fortune, for that is the real cookie.

So beautiful a thing is loyalty despite the confines in to which it is submerged and conflated with—hierarchy and monogamy.

We may never touch power, but power ever touches us.

If real progress seems far fetched, think nearer.

Fate is what the weak cling to, and it is what the strong create.

The tragic irony of our times is that if we are to survive we will do it despite our parents, not because of them (as should be).

Let your fire rage, and if bridges be burned know that they were contrived in falsity and their endurance was a puppet string that you may now be liberated from.

Insincerity for the purpose of entertainment and jest is a higher form of sincerity.

To see the light at the end of this tunnel we have dug ourselves in to, we will have to be far seeing and have the will to turn around.

We must be the night, not to defy the sun, but to preserve darkness from the gathering shadows.

Identity is a previous investment trap.

Grassroots can only make change so deep, especially when there are forces that keep mowing them down. Other deeper rooting methods are needed.

Oppression existing is the longest term predictor of extinction.

Death frees us from the final terrifying moments of life so that we do not have to bear them in memory. Terrifying moments that don’t kill us are torturous if death is prevented or delayed.

To be willing to die for something gives you a huge advantage over your opponents. To be willing to live for that something seals the deal.

They are not the be all and end all, but they might be our end all.

I want unconditional freedom, and that makes me a target. However, because of that very freedom, I am a moving target.

When humans break they break other humans. We are anything but an individualist species.

God is love misspelled, and religion is love misunderstood.

Go Foucault Yourself

A fish out of the water is today’s dinner, and a human off the land is tomorrow’s breakfast. When dawn is eclipsing the horizon, will you be there to greet it?

It is true that we can feel one another’s pain. But it is even truer that pain fades away if we feel one another.

When in doubt and all seems equivalent, privilege the new arbitrary over the old arbitrary.

Don’t focus on what it means, focus on what it does.

With the military industrial complex, we’ve all become prisoners of war; and with the prison industrial complex, soon we will all become prisoners.

To belittle others one must belittle oneself.

Capitalism depends upon war; whether it be a world war or a war on the world, if there be such a difference for it is now blurry, as with our vision.

Teleology is the ideology of necessity.

Don’t fear death, fear not being alive.

360 degrees crooked appears straight to the weak minded.

If the slow and systematic enervation of the planet burns a rage inside of you, then you are a comrade of mine.

The world has such great problems, especially when we remove ourselves from being part of it.

When plurality is singularity, contradictions will be in contradiction.

Give all your energy to revolution, and you will receive it back many fold. The Universe yearns for a new way for life, and has an unimaginable abundance ready to freely give out.

One does not even need to eat magic mushrooms, to be fed the magic of mushroom. There are far more immediate connections than digestion.