title: Particle Decelerators
Acceleration Seals A Tunnel Narrow
Hundreds of thousands of people choosing to spend hundreds of thousands of their own hours, leaving relationships, abandoning their children, expelling all emotion from their bodies, all for a single obsession, is what particle physics has become. They are married to another ring, or marred by the ring—abused brains turned to victims that don’t want to imagine escape as vital. It is an explosive ring, a bomb for the subatomic, creating a world broken down so small that math is used to speak of it. Breathe enough life and energy into math, you’ll come to believe that the math breathes life into you. Perpetual circling without ever diving for prey. Endless bricks being gathered for a house with no vision; as long as it’s tidy and fits on a standard or standardizable map. Messy guests like Niels Bohr are chided and cursed (and then worshiped), leaving piles of debris, gaping holes, and suicides in their wake. These brilliant outsiders, though left without accommodations, are posthumously elevated to legendary and cleaned up after with tireless effort. I focus on them, because they are the completed bridge with a landing on the other side. They are both thinkers of the world of particle acceleration, but their brains are obviously perfect specimens of…
Particle Deceleration. The human brain is a particle decelerator, functioning especially well in this capacity during times of sleep and when adequate nutrients are being provided. The terrain is one of a lightning storm where the ground and sky switch places, waterfalls rise, lakes rain, effects create causes to pull them, where versa vices, and where temporality is extended and morphologized with a rapidity and slowness that is astonishing. It is quite on the opposite side of the spectrum from the time-crushing black holes—the dangerously violent infinite acceleration that humans foolishly try to emulate.
Brains, on the other end, can make a couple of seconds of well used time reverberate into eons upon of vital time. What barriers are there to keep a couple of minutes external time to being stretched out in sleep to days of dynamic internal dreaming time?
New particles are created and dispersed with great ease as the mereological forces of the complex consciousness dwelling in the brain push downwards. A new world is experimented with and built, conceived out of the utmost love rather than the violence of PA collisions. Space is opened by curvaceousness and low temperatures, and particles that are unpredictably unpredictable. A new world is being cultivated, largely built now primarily in ephemeral nomadic fashion in the brains of humans, but to the benefit of the whole universe as the first generation of particles wanes in a few billions (or trillions) of years, depending on who or when is counting. The zeroth generation of particles, the generation to come, can be much more plentiful for they are made of energy many orders of magnitude lower in quantity. They can be part of atoms and chemicals that are liquid and gaseous near absolute zero whereas our first generation particles, atoms, and molecules would fail to be more than frozen at such temperatures. They are the mercury bridge to the warmth of a colder, even more complex and spread out Universe than the first generation of particles has offered. To get there, all we have to do is dream…
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title: Framing Infrastructure As The Ontastricture
*This note and the next one “Exo-DNA” have been paired together, though this one is from 2015 and the Exo-DNA is recent.
When you wipe away all the wealth attribution and the large dwellings and fine clothes, oligarchs are merely opportunists who use the infrastructure of the last 10,000 years of civilization that’s been afforded them. They give themselves the biggest cages, but yes, not even they—the great shadow groups that drive some of us crazy thinking that there is no hope when control is so complete—are free from cages. Not one of us is born outside of a cage (or if we were, we would essentially be encaged by adjacent cages, an island in an ocean); not any animal on this entire planet, save some temporary and opportune species, is doing any better in vital terms than since the time when human civilization was first spreading from insignificant permanent dwellings to land management that shackled ecosystems.
Perhaps because of the realities of man-made environmental catastrophes and extinctions, there is an incorrect assumption that we four generations of humans alive today are not only to blame, but also wield the ability to undo our damage. But much of this is out of our control, evidenced because we—a 10,000+ year we—are killing animals we didn’t actually intend to and did not have the power to foretell. We are not only not fully in control of all the bad things done previously, we are not fully in control of the bad things being done. Importantly, it is not the ghosts from the past that need to be blamed for the ongoing problems being proliferated (though they’ve done much to deserve it), but the infrastructure that survived them and is currently plaguing so much of our planet, looking to survive it too. So, it is idiotic and an act of hubris to think the wars against life are all of our making and that we need not pay attention to egregious historical momentum; we are the inheritors of a vast accumulation of wastelands that are eroding because of the adjacent land’s erosion caused by the roads and yet other erosions, coming with deforestation and desertification of particular lands. We are not completely the dominant of the civilization but we are subjected to it, yet we have unique abilities to curb the influence.
The infrastructure laden land is not the only problematic terrain that we’ve inherited. So, too, we are the inheritors of cliches that guide behavior down very unthoughtful paths. Language, itself, is the arbitrary compilation of sounds beaten in to heads that had no intrinsic sonic merit of their own on which to stand; they only find their value in relation to other words, or objectified “things”. Anything built on such vacuous grounds is sure to do what vacuums do—suck other things in to their zone of influence—just as a black hole does via gravity.
Infrastructure, even the root-word “structure”, brings to mind a series of hard surfaces that are relatively impregnable to softer forces, such as carbon-based life. And what is life if not the impregnation of adjacent materiality with more space for further life? Here we are, the human life-form, building things that keep life from getting a hold. We aim for clean and plane surfaces, and we now support these perverted efforts to keep things “tidy” by actively spraying and respraying anti-life chemicals to keep these surfaces geometric. We design things to be “proof”—weather proof clothing and cars, decay proof food, imagination proof instruction (though there are some promising directions towards holistic education). As things continue to be proof of life, proof of life will be harder to come by.
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title: Exo-DNA
Most genetic encoding information is endogenous to the affected genetically reproduced animal. Humans, however, have in effect added a supplementary genetic code from outside of themselves that deeply effects (stifles) their development; counter genes are expressed by our accumulating artifices, beginning with tools and culminating now in what we might call infrastructure (including digital infrastructure). It repeatedly informs our development in a recursive sense that sees both the humans changing as well as the genetic “infrastructure” itself, an integral process in the co-evolution of a life-form and its genes. Infrastructure has evolved rather quickly, faster than our intrinsic DNA could possibly keep up, and it goes a long way to explain how we could be so similar yet so alien to a person from even two hundred years ago. The rapidity and frequency of “editing”—deriving from the controlling genetics of infrastructure—blends from being genetic to epi-genetic, but I’m not sure it qualifies as epi-genetic because of the largely one-way impact of the genes, though exo-genes do turn off some and turn on others in our own genes (an epi-genetic process?).
*I don’t think of this note as being partied to the technological singularity notion, and wonder if it might even run counter to some of it’s basic premises.
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title: Tripping Yourself
Abstract: Those who let hallucinogenics do the work of removing the false barriers that dampen connection with the holistic reality will not develop the ability to remove these barriers themselves. When the fungi runs out, so will you…
I have by no means developed anything close to what presumably the hallucinogenic compounds would do automatically. However, in their absence and in my constant quest to de-normalize reality for “accessing deeper truths” I have been employing with some success tactics that take my mind to a different space.
→ Saying a normal word over and over and over again makes it sound arbitrary and foreign (which it is), for example: “normal normal normal normal normal normal…”. “Each” always gets me, very quickly, too—”eeech”
→ Mental gibberish not only helps me with falling asleep, but it is quasi-meditative (or pre-meditative), and it alone—but especially in combination with the next self-trip mechanism—can be evocative, depending on the rhythm and activated energy pre-existing in my body.
→ I take raving breaks, and if in a social/professional setting I go to the public bathroom and rave in front of the mirror. The mental benefits are a secondary concern to the bodily benefits of moving my body after it was locked (generally this the case) in to a seated position. Come to think of it, I will take such a break now. As opposed to the standard curvy flow of warming up my body via bathroom raving, when explicitly looking to trip myself I will evolve the raving so my hands to swerve right in front of my eyes and I will percolate my fingers to give uneven visual light distribution. This twisted tai chi, in combination with making strange faces at myself in front of a mirror, makes me feel much more animal. I wonder if along different lines there are people who voluntarily wear an eye-patch for a day, switch it (or not), and then return back to double vision to get a new appreciation of their visual capacities, but also to strengthen their singular eye faculties. Perhaps I will become one such person, but I doubt I would last more than 15 minutes before frustration sets in (though perhaps a build-up of tolerance would be necessary, or a reminder that there are those of one eye who have no option).
→ Imagining I am a giant and all the little things around my living space are being looked at from a great height. If I do it right, this “trip” will be more than just a rationalized telling of myself that things are relative and a deep world exists down in the microspheres, but the trip will be independent of self-speech and will be a coup d’œil (of sorts) that has my occipita step out of itself and my head shivers with the overflow.
→ Note: though the following entrancement mechanism may technically better go under the first arrow of repeating a phrase, it is unique and has more to do with the arrow immediately above. My saying “nothing existing, ever, nothing to exist for ever, no time to ever exist, there could have been nothing to be nothing” will eventually give me a sublime shiver that really pulls me out of myself and scares the shit out of me; this feeling is sort of akin, though more intense, than the “I am a giant” induced feeling. If I’m really scared I reassure myself of Des Cartes’ “I think therefore I am”.
→ This may be more cathartic than mind-altering, but over recent months I occasionally moan out loudly in different tones to expel any negative frequencies that I sense are there. It’s all very intuitive and feels quite obsessive-compulsive, but I trust the impulse as one of healing. I wonder if the adjacent apartments hear it and have to absorb the sound I am ridding myself of.
→ LZGEWV JMQRFNYAT BHX DUP KOS I&C, now I sow my LZGs…
→ Bursts of cold water while in the shower, where I turn the nozzle quickly to all cold and then back to warm does something, though it’s usually very short-lived. During the summer I was taking cold dark baths which were exhilarating and refreshing.
→ Dancing, in social situations, has always been a way to trip myself. It is very beautiful to happen in a club with great music and strange lights, but it is less completely bodily created and much more dependent on the vibrations of the music as support. An interesting experiment, but it would take a lot of willing people, would be to dance without music or even the allowance of bodily-made percussion. Sans music it would take a lot longer and greater force of personalities to create, but it might be all the more profound once reached.
→ This last one is breaking the rules of what I feel is environmental-influence free mind-altering (or at least mood altering), but it is listening to trance music that I know induces euphoria and an epic sense within me. Some other select songs also have quite an effect on me, entrancing me the way a Shamanic ritual might.
All of these arrows are just precursors to allow the mind to wander more freely and sensually in strange directions that wouldn’t be normally allowed by sterile environmental indoctrination. I have been doing most of these for a long time without doing them for the express and explicit purpose of tripping myself, but rather they just evolved along with others that I can’t probably recall because I haven’t inducted them in to the newly created “trip myself tools” category. Alas, I will stop the ineffective babble here, and perhaps start the more effective gibberish…
Subverses 